Hey everyone I’m LaJoy. For those of you who know me and have noticed I’ve been MIA from all social media for about 2 months. What have I been up to?

Well, my husband Teko and I have been keeping a secret from everyone. We are pregnant! Again.

This story goes along with our photos and video so you can truly appreciate everything that we have gone through to get here.

Very quick recap…

I’m LaJoy, I am the proud wife of Teko, mom of 3 kids, and fur mom of 2 dogs. We were married in Atlanta GA in October of 2022. One of the happiest days of my life! Check out our feature and publication with Southern Bride Magazine! LaJoy & Teko Porsche Wedding .

We are the owners of LaJoy Photography and Teko is the owner of The First Look Photography. We’ve been together and in business together for 6 years now. This is our baby's story.

Let’s start…

After getting married we were hit with so much devastation I could’ve never imagined this. We got married on October 9, 2022. Announced our pregnancy at our wedding after I started to show slightly. Our pregnancy announcement. It was such a happy time. Our TikTok had millions of views because it was such a cute moment. Our smaller 70-guest wedding was held at the Porsche Experience Center in Atlanta. Then everything changed.

3 weeks later we could tell something was wrong with the pregnancy and went to the doctor. We didn’t have any symptoms of miscarriage except the fact I felt off and no longer had pregnancy symptoms. The doctor told us the baby stopped developing and we would miscarry. I was heartbroken. I lost my mom when I was 25 and thought nothing could hurt like that but DAMN this one hit hard as hell too. I started to cry immediately and honestly could barely hear anything else she said after “I’m sorry this is going to be a miscarriage”. Everything she said sounded so far away like I was underwater. I was so angry and sad and embarrassed. I spent a day in bed canceled the photo shoots I could and told myself I would attend the wedding I had coming up because it was in 2 days and all the photographers I knew and trusted to cover the day for me were already booked that weekend so there was no one to cover the event. My clients were my priority because there was nothing I could do about the baby. I had a business obligation to fulfill. I figured I would attend this wedding and capture the images I needed for my client and take the next 2 weeks off work to recover mentally, physically, and emotionally. It was only 8 hours and Teko was doing most of the work. I still hadn’t started to miscarry. Did you know it can take time? I didn’t. However, I did know I didn’t want a D&C because I wanted to try again. During the wedding ceremony, I began to cramp so badly that I had to sit down. I had never felt pain so bad. I have a very high tolerance for pain and this pain almost knocked me off my feet. I kept working. I walked through the pain and kept shooting. I knew what was happening but told myself I would get through the night because it was just 4 more hours left in the day and it would take time. I had no idea I wouldn’t make it through the night. I miscarried during the ceremony and ended up crying inside the bathroom alone while my couple said I do. I thought I would get my period. I thought I would feel some cramping. I had no clue I was far enough along to actually have the baby leave my body. I felt helpless. The worse part is my second shooter was also my husband and I was unable to tell him everything because one of us needed to finish out the night for that bride and groom. This was their special day and I refused to ruin this day for them. Yes, I was hurting and yes it was a lot on me but my bride and groom didn’t need to know the details at that moment. That night my sister-in-law who was already babysitting my kids that night drove to come get me. I left early and told my husband I was in too much pain to continue and that was the reason I was leaving. Of course, he didn’t believe me 100% but he knew he had to continue so that we could fulfill our contract. To try to find another photographer to come to the wedding that night would’ve been impossible and by then there were only 3 hours remaining. I hugged my bride and groom and thanked them for their understanding. They were such an amazing couple. I’m so grateful for such great clients. Now, I know I fucked up. Now I know I should’ve had the wedding covered by someone else so my husband and I could heal properly and I could’ve miscarried at home in my own bathroom. I put myself in this situation trying to be the strong black woman we all want to be. This was stupid. I know that now.

Later that night when Teko came home I told him what really happened. We prayed, we cried, and we rested and our relationship grew stronger. For the next two weeks, he took care of me and we lay in bed together and cuddled. We talked about the baby and we talked about our feelings and the future. He was perfect and so understanding of my feelings and what I was going through. After that 2 weeks, we had to get back to work. Don’t forget we are entrepreneurs and that’s what we do right? If we don’t leave our home we don’t make money. We work 24 hours a day and 7 days a week and wear many hats. We very publicly told everyone what happened because we really didn’t want to keep having to say “We lost the baby” or “We actually aren’t pregnant anymore” a ton of times. I wanted to rip the band-aid off and move forward. Remember we had a TikTok video of us announcing our pregnancy at our wedding with millions of views because I was showing. We had to say something or we would be explaining we are no longer expecting over and over again every time someone saw me.

Oh, back to the fact we still had to work. Yea. Crying at night during my showers then waking up the next morning to smile and pretend I was okay so that I could continue to book jobs because if people think you have anything rough going on in your life as a business owner they stop booking. So what do we do, we show no emotion and keep pushing. That’s just what we did. Yes, WE! Men hurt too ladies and my husband lost a baby as well. We both had a very hard time with this but he made my life as easy as he could handling everything he could. I also knew I needed to be there for him and check on him as much as possible. I would catch him crying alone because he felt crying in front of me would make me cry. I fussed at him and let him know he should never do that and I’m there for him also.

Two months later we tried again, miscarried again, healed again, Tried again, Miscarried again, healed again. Like WTF! 3 miscarriages in a row. I have 3 happy healthy children and never had a miscarriage in the past. What the hell was going on with my body? At that point, we decided to give up and enjoy our marriage, travel and be great with the family we already had. Clearly, children were not an option for us. Teko told me he already had three kids and loved them dearly.

My kids were heartbroken also. They wanted a new baby in the house and I would catch them crying because they were worried about me. We talked to them and made sure to explain everything and keep a brave face on in front of the kiddos.

During the whole time, I was doing research. I was going to a fertility specialist, I was going to see doctors I was googling things. I was doing everything I could. This is what I found out. I am fertile as fuck. Tons of eggs, that’s why every time my husband touched me my ass was pregnant. We are still newlyweds at this time and very much attracted to each other. The doctors have no idea why I miscarried 3 damn times. We would just need to keep trying they said. Through all of this, we went to work, We raised our 3 kids, and we enjoyed each other. We kept shooting and we just stayed off of Instagram as much as we could. My uterus had blown up and retracted so many times I looked pregnant for 7 months. I think at some point I was depressed but idk because I never took the time to slow down. I was definitely scared to lose another baby. I felt like I kept watching the same person but a different person die over and over again. It was the worst feeling.

The worst part of all of this is that I never really got a chance to slow down. I kept moving to keep busy and to stay sane but I needed a break.

Why am I telling you all this? Because the number of women who came to me and told me “I lost a baby too” and I had never known about was alarming. I realized women hide their feelings so much and never talk about our pain and it’s hurtful. We are walking around every day living these very secret lives and we need to stop. We need to open up more and be there for each other because if we treated each other more like a community and stopped hiding the bad parts of life because of fear of being judged we would have more support and could heal more effectively. Those wounds we have wouldn’t take so long to heal.

I’m now pregnant and in my second trimester with my rainbow baby and while I’m so happy to be here I’m still mourning what we lost. I’m still afraid of what is to come and I’m looking forward to the future all at the same time. Pray for us do not pity us. Share our story with others that can get some type of comfort from it. I’m open to answering questions if you have them.

Moral of the story.

We all need each other and you never know what someone else is going through. Be there for people even if they are unable to say I’m hurting and I need you.

Very important

Let me take a moment to talk about this man I married just last year. Teko Lewis has been so supportive of all of my decisions throughout this process. It’s always been my choice if I wanted to try again. He has been strong for me, made me laugh, held me when I cried and helped care for my children on the days I couldn’t get out of bed. Picking kids up from school dropping them off in the morning and doing my daughter’s hair to the best of his ability. He protected me from everything he could. Ran both of our companies when I just couldn’t get up and work. “For better or worse, in sickness and in health and for richer or poorer”. We have tested it all already. We lost 3 babies, I’ve been sick and unable to move at times during this current pregnancy (morning sickness is crazy), and we have paid so much money for fertility tests, doctors, and so much more and he has taken on the burden. I LOVE HIM! No one and I mean no one could ever come for this black man without dealing with me. I will protect him at all costs.

Thank you for taking the time to hear our story.

Please view our gender reveal video and enjoy. We hope you see this as a story of inspiration and strength because that is what we want.

About 20 minutes after the Gender reveal outside we all went inside to eat. When we came out there was a double rainbow over our house. I don’t know what that means but I hope it’s blessings and good vibes.

Our Video!

https://www.instagram.com/p/Ct_rz__AW1F/?igshid=YzcxN2Q2NzY0OA==

My Rainbow

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